where thoughts twirls and waltz
While my eyes study the cracks in the ceiling , i begin to shift through my schedule tomorrow.
1)go with mum to the dentist
2)go shop for a new outfit suitable for hicking in malaysia while on trip
3) maybe buy new books
Then i stop , i wonder if all the summer is going to be spent in mild actions and boredom. Where has gone my new-year resolutions!. They were many of them for examples , learning french, painting an excellent oil painting , getting closer to dad and maybe even taking a course in cooking . But yet , i actually did a big fat nothing so far. how disappointing of me.
I shift to my left side and try to dismiss those thoughts. Where is sleep already ?!!.
Another set of thoughts pop up , this time it brings regrets and sadness in its wake. The idea of how the presence or absence of one specific person may change our lives and turn it upside down is absolutely mind-blowing to me. Now all my treacherous brain do is keep wondering what if i didnt hurt this friend , or what if i didnt ignore those people back in high school , maybe i should have been more social and outgoing. This went for hours and hours, blaming myself then finding excuses then regretting and blaming more.
NO MORE ! The sun is beginning to spread its morning wings acroos the dark sky already and my brain feels like i have been frying it in deep oil. I toss for the last time and finally see sleep entering through the door.
“welcome, dear” , i sigh in relief and close my eyes.